The Train to Kiev

I left Krakow because I couldn’t take it any longer. My girlfriend there is perfect. I could live happily ever after but well, that’s for the end of your story. My story has a long way to go still.

I decided to go to Kiev, Ukraine. Why? They have bad winters and it’s cold as fuck. Because it seems fucking ridiculous. I guess theres the russian poker series main event going too. Honestly, Why is such a hard question to really answer. Who the fuck knows why ever? I don’t atleast.

So I get on this train from Krakow to Kiev. I sit down and I instantly have ridiculous dejavu… IVE BEEN HERE BEFORE MAN!! Then I remember when: it was during call of duty: world war 2. Fuckin’ videogames. The train stops and the instructor tells me I have to go. I show him my ticket. 2 minutes of having conversation with a man with an strong language barrier includes lots of pointing, guessing, and general confusion. I get it though and know I where I have to go.

I go to the waiting room of the next train and theres a small shop there. It’s run by this guy who is just staring at this TV screen. The shop sells very few items and half the shelves are empty. What a pitiful place. I have to wait an hour before I get on this next train to kiev. Something about changing the wheels of the train. I eventually get on the train and it’s a sleeper train so I have my own little room to sleep in.

The train starts moving and I’m tired so I lay down and take my shirt off. I hear a knock on the door so I open the door without putting my shirt on. It’s 4 beautiful russian women in army uniforms with AK47′s with shoulder straps. I think to myself that this is the start of a great porno or great action flick. They ask if I speak russian and gambling on the porno I say ‘no’ in the sexiest voice I can. They take my passport and leave. Bad beat.

Eventually get my passport back and I sleep for the night. I wake up and the train is in Kiev. I get off and I have no idea what the hell I’m doing here. I’ve made no plans for accommodation. I try to talk to people but not a single soul speaks english. I eventually discover internet and got everything figured out.