The Time I Fucked a LadyBoy

Dear mom, please stop reading now.

There I was in Boracay, a paradise island full of hookers and tourists, walking down the beach barefoot at the beginning of nightfall. I’m going out to go meet my friend at Regency Hotel to start my night off.

So, there’s this girl that looks at me so I ask her, “Where’s Regency?”

She points down the beach and I start walking off into that direction. She decides to follow me and walk by my side. I then ask, “What do you want?”

She doesn’t say anything beside grabs my arm like a woman would. I then just say “Look I’m not interested in [tag]hookers[/tag], Are you a working girl?”

She shakes her head and says “No! Just sit with me for a second, I want to talk.”

So, trying to be pleasant, I decide to sit with her on the beach for a moment. I tell her “I have to go meet my friend. What’s up?”
She just wants to talk, I guess. Small talk follows…
“What’s your name?”
“What do you do?”
She say’s “Massage”
I think to myself… I knew this bitch was a hooker, I gotta get outta here… I tell her I have to go…
She persists by grabbing my arm and pulling me back.
I make the biggest mistake of my life and lie, “Look, I’m sorry but I’m not interested, I’m actually gay”
She doesn’t believe me. I get up to leave.
She grabs my dick as I leave.

Later that night, I was walking home and I see her.

She says,”I like you, I’ll do anything you want for free.”

I hesitate for a moment and say, “Alright!”
I insist she gives me head on the beach. I didn’t want to have sex with her and I was going to follow through with my lie in order to not have sex with her. It’s kinda hard on the beach as lots of people are walking by. She wants to go back to her place.
I try to make sure it’s safe, I ask her if she lives alone and if it’s really her place.

It seems safe. So I go with her.

When I arrive at her place, She opens the door by bending the flimsy door and pulling out a fork from outside. It’s the most sad place I’ve ever been to. It’s just a mattress on the ground of an unfinished building. The entire room is basically the size of a bathroom. She locks the door again by sticking the fork back into the wall preventing the door from opening.

She starts giving me head at her place but insists “Fuck me, Fuck me” She can’t stop asking me, over and over again.
I insist, “No, I’m gay, it won’t work if we have sex. Just give me head.”
My strategy is to keep up the lie so I don’t have to have sex with her, I have no idea where she’s been and I figure this is the best way to stay safe.
She asks for me to touch her. I decline.
She keeps insisting. I tell her I don’t like pussy.
I’m thinking I need to come and get the hell outta here.
Then, right as she takes my dick out of her mouth, I come all over her face as she says, “I’m a ladyboy”

And I’m like, “I’m outta here!!!”

I put on my pants while that’s happening he stands in front of the door trying to call someone on his cellphone. I spring to action and grab his cellphone and hang it up. He’s pushing me back into the room and says “You must pay”. I push him back and try to open the door. I first pull out the fork but the door opens to the inside. I try to open the door but he’s in the way, pushing me back. So I decide to give the door a kick, right near the hinge, and the door comes flying off.

I’m still barefoot and now i’m running down this unpaved alleyway at full speed with a fork in my hand. I thought that it could come in handy.

He comes chasing after me full speed. Half way down the alleyway we run past a little kid. The kid says hi to the hooker and he says hi back in a nice voice as he continues to chase after me.

We get to the road and no one is there. My feet are hurting like crazy now and I figure I won’t be able to get away with speed alone. He catches up to me and grabs my shirt and tugs me, I do a little spin move and he ends up in front of me.

So I threaten the bitch with my fork…

I continue running but this time, he gives up and doesn’t follow. I’m completely lost and have to climb tons of fences before I find a tricycle-taxi that takes me home.

The moral of the story is, if you’re a [tag]ladyboy[/tag], I’ll come in your face, kick down your door, steal your fucking fork and try to stab you with it.